SLIP: Words on Self-Love

Slip: Shame Loneliness Isolation Pain

February 15, 2018

© Ariel C. Williams


Cut myself off from love

Mama grabbed me by the face and cried

Said she don’t want her baby

Hurting and raging inside


Said I was made to love 

To be loved and a help mate that’s whole

That I should tear down the guard I’ve built

Be vulnerable so love can snatch me tenfold


But mama failed to realize behind the pain in my eyes

Comes experience I trouble to forget

Moving on sounds good; probably feels fine

Yet my rage is laced in comfortable regret


It is

Shame that’s strengthened the wall

Loneliness that always calls

Isolation that’s padded the fall

Pain strong enough to numb it all


Somehow sorrow seems to poorly paint

A faint smile stained on my face

That the world ignores every day

But mama won’t look away


With tears in her eyes she prays I’ll make it out

Forgive it all; shake it off

Get a final cry and clean me up

Put a man in my face and call it love


“Why he wanna love me when sometimes I don’t love myself?”

I refrain from asking and instead hold inside

No static, no pressure, no waves or calling out

But I know what’s happening won’t get fixed by becoming a wife


I kiss mama back and tell her I’ll try

Give her my word to do my best

Hope that the outward love she prays for me

Finds me on the inside so we both can rest


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